How to Miss a Childhood

***This is posted from "Hands Free Mama" at http://www.handsfreemama.com/2012/05/07/how-to-miss-a-childhood/

I thought it was worth sharing.  Miss Kirsten***

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Rachel Macy Stafford

Each minute of every day, we are presented with a choice on how we spend our moments. We can either miss the moments or grasp them. This photo was taken at a time in my life when I was missing the moments and in doing so, I was missing more than life.

By sharing my own painful truths when it comes to the distractions of the modern age, I have gained an unexpected insight. In the 18 months this blog has existed, I have been privy to a new distraction confession every single day.
Up until now, I never knew what to do with this unusual collection of painful admissions from an overly connected society. But today, in a moment of clarity, I knew. And a woman with 35 years experience as a day care provider held the key.
It came as a message in my inbox after the woman read my post “The Children Have Spoken” which included heart-breaking observations from children themselves about their parents’ excessive phone use.
As soon as I read the first sentence of the caregiver’s email, I knew this message was different than any I had ever received. The hairs on my arms stood up as I absorbed each word that came uncomfortably close to home.
It was a voice of heartache, wisdom, and urgency speaking directly to the parents of the 21st century:
“I can recall a time when you were out with your children you were really with them. You engaged in a back and forth dialog even if they were pre-verbal. You said, ‘Look at the bus, see the doggie, etc.’ Now I see you on the phone, pushing your kids on the swings while distracted by your devices. You think you are spending time with them but you are not present really. When I see you pick up your kids at day care while you’re on the phone, it breaks my heart. They hear your adult conversations. What do they overhear? What is the message they receive? I am not important; I am not important.”
In a 100-word paragraph this concerned woman who has cared for babies since 1977 revealed a disturbing recipe … How to Miss a Childhood.
And because I possess hundreds of distraction confessions, including stories from my own former highly distracted life, I have all the damaging ingredients.
All it takes is one child and one phone and this tragic recipe can be yours.
How to Miss a Childhood

*Keep your phone turned on at all times of the day. Allow the rings, beeps, and buzzes to interrupt your child midsentence; always let the caller take priority.
*Carry your phone around so much that when you happen to leave it in one room your child will come running with it proudly in hand—treating it more like a much needed breathing apparatus than a communication device.
*Decide the app you’re playing is more important than throwing the ball in the yard with your kids. Even better, yell at them to leave you alone while you play your game.
*Take your children to the zoo and spend so much time on your phone that your child looks longingly at the mother who is engaged with her children and wishes she was with her instead.
*While you wait for the server to bring your food or the movie to start, get out your phone and stare at it despite the fact your child sits inches away longing for you talk to him.
*Go to your child’s sporting event and look up periodically from your phone thinking she won’t notice that you are not fully focused on her game.
*Check your phone first thing in the morning … even before you kiss, hug, or greet the people in your family.
*Neglect daily rituals like tucking your child into bed or nightly dinner conversation because you are too busy with your online activity.
*Don’t look up from your phone when your child speaks to you or just reply with an “uh huh” so she thinks you were listening.
*Lose your temper with your child when he “bothers” you while you are interacting with your hand-held electronic device.
*Give an exasperated sigh when your child asks you to push her on the swing. Can’t she see you’re busy?
*Use drive time to call other people regardless of the fact you could be talking to your kids about their day—or about their worries, their fears, or their dreams.
*Read email and text messages at stoplights. Then tell yourself that when your kids are old enough to drive they won’t remember you did this all the time.
*Have the phone to your ear when she gets in or out of the car. Convince yourself a loving hello or goodbye is highly overrated.
Follow this recipe and you will have:
• Missed opportunities for human connection
• Fewer chances to create beautiful memories
• Lack of connection to the people most precious to you
• Inability to really know your children and them unable to know you
• Overwhelming regret
If you find this recipe difficult to read—if you find that you have tears in your eyes, I thank you, and your child thanks you.
It is not easy to consider the possibility that the distractions of the modern age have taken an undeserved priority over the people who matter in your life. In fact, when I admitted this difficult truth to myself almost two years ago, I experienced an emotional breakdown. However, that breakdown became a breakthrough that propelled me to begin my life-changing “Hands Free” journey.
Here’s the thing: You don’t have to follow the above recipe. Yes, it is the 21st century. Yes, the whole world is online. Yes, the communications for your job are important. Yes, at times you must be readily available. But despite all those factors, you do not have to sacrifice your child’s childhood; nor do you have to sacrifice your life.
May I recommend this recipe instead?
How to Grasp a Childhood:
Look into her eyes when she speaks to you … Your uninterrupted gaze is love to your child.

Take time to be with him—really be with him by giving your full attention … The gift of your total presence is love to your child.

Hold her hand, rub his back, listen to her heart beat, and smooth his hair … Your gentle touch is love to your child.

Greet her like you missed her when she was not in your presence … Seeing your face light up when you see her is love to your child.

Play with him … Your involvement in his activities is love to your child.

Set an example of being distraction-free while driving … Positive role modeling behind the wheel is love (and safety) to your child.
Create a distraction-free daily ritual … Consistently making him a priority each day is love to your child.

Focus and smile at her from the stands, sidelines, or the audience … Seeing the joy on your face as you watch is love to your child.

The recipe for “How to Grasp a Childhood” requires only one thing: You must put down your phone. Whether it is for ten minutes, two hours, or an entire Saturday, beautiful human connection, memory making, and parent-child bonding can occur every single time you let go of distraction to grasp what really matters.
The beautiful, life-changing results of your “Hands Free” action can start today … right now … the moment you put down the phone.
************************************************************
My life changed the day I stopped justifying my highly distracted life and  admitted I was missing precious moments that I would never retrieve. I imagined my daughter standing on the stage of her high school graduation and asked myself: When she is 18 years old, will I wish I had spent more time on my phone/work/social life? Or will I wish I had spent more time investing in her?
The answer was simple.
My hope is that this post inspires one person to become aware of how often he or she uses the phone (or computer) in the presence of a child. Please help spread this critical message by clicking “share.” By falling into the right hands, it could be the best Mother’s Day gift ever received.
*For continued inspiration and tips about letting go of distraction to connect with the people you love please join “The Hands Free Revolution.” We are a growing community striving to grasp “the moments that matter” in our one precious life!

This entry was posted in What I Would Have Missed and tagged addicted to checking your phone, bonding with your child in the 21st century, how technology damages our relationships, how to bond with your child, how to create a happy childhood, put down your phone, technology addiction.

Five Little Turkeys

Our class loves the "Five Little Pumpkins" poem.  I couldn't find a Thanksgiving theme poem that had a similar format, so our class wrote our own poem:

Five Little Turkeys

by Miss Kirsten and KB Dinosaurs

Five little turkeys sitting on a wall.

The first one said, "Oh, no!  It's already fall!"

The second one said, "I smell pumpkin pie in the air."

The third one said, "Let's hide, if we dare."

The fourth one said, "It might be too late."

The fifth one said, "Here comes the chef, with a plate!"

Then, "Beep-beep," went the timer

 and off went the oven.

"Surprise, little turkeys, here is your pie made from pumpkin!"

We made applesauce!

 First, Miss Kirsten sliced and cored the apples.  Then she peeled them and chopped the slices into smaller pieces.

 Then, we poured the sliced apples into the crock pot.  The crock pot setting was turned to low.  We also added 4 1/2 tsp. of brown sugar, 1 1/3 c. of water, 1 1/2 tsp. of vanilla and the juice from 2 1/2 lemons.  Then, we stirred it up.

 

 We checked on it every 30 minutes to an hour and stirred it.  The apples began to get mushy.

About 30 minutes before it was time to eat it, we added another TB. of brown sugar and a dash of cinnamon.  The applesauce smelled wonderful!

After it had cooked on low for about 5 hours, Miss Kirsten gave everyone a bowl of applesauce to try.  First, we had to let it cool down a bit (just like the 3 bears).

We loved it!

Many of us got seconds!

We love cooking in the classroom!

Applesauce is great!

Here is the recipe in case you'd like to try it:

9 large apples, skinned, cored, and cut into pieces
2-1/2 lemons, juiced
1-1/2 tsp vanilla
4-1/2 tbsp brown sugar
1-1/3 cup water

Mix all the ingredients together in your crock-pot and cook on low for 4 to 6 hours! Mash all together and add in another tbsp of brown sugar and a dash of cinnamon. Cook for another 20 minutes.

Fire Safety

October is fire safety month.  We've been learning about staying safe if there's ever a fire.  It's a good time to check the batteries in all the smoke detectors in your home.  Also, does your family have a fire escape plan?  Have you practiced it?  I remember my dad showing us how to open the iron bars (on the window) and letting us practice exiting through the window.  That was a while ago and I still remember it!!!  I learned how to actually go through the window.  It wasn't so scary.  If it's possible, have your child practice exiting through the window in his or her bedroom.

I found a website about fire safety that your family could look at together.   There are stories, games, and activities.   The address is:

http://www.sparky.org/#/Sparky

Have fun and be safe!

Homework Ideas

Homework for KB

DAILY:

·       Read for 15-20 minutes together.  After every page, have your child tell you about what you just read.  Discuss unfamiliar words.  Make predictions.  Ask questions.

·       Practice the high frequency words together.  These are on the calendar for the month and can be found on our calendar on the website as well.  You can play memory match, go fish, make the words with play-doh, etc... to practice READING the words.  Students will be tested on the words.  I will have a list of words and each student will read them to me.  I will wait no more than 5 seconds because they should instantly recognize the word.

ONCE A WEEK:

Look at our learning calendar.  Pick a topic and do an activity together from math, science, or social studies. 

In math, we’re always working on numbers, graphing, making patterns, measurement, and shapes.  So you could:

·       Make a graph together

·       Look for a pattern in everyday life

·       Measure an object with pennies

·       Look for 5 around you:  5 ants, 5 pennies, a nickel, 5 cheerios, etc...

·       Go on a shape hunt

·       Make a book about shapes

In science and social studies, check our learning calendar and reinforce a concept.  For example, if we’re doing the five senses, have a “taste test” and use your sense of taste to identify foods...

For Social studies, your family could check out a book about the current holiday and read it together.  Many of our units involve holidays.  In October, you could discuss being safe during trick or treating.  In November, you could read about Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving, and Native Americans.

Another homework idea is to play games together.  It’s a great way for your child to practice taking turns, counting spaces, and following rules.  Plus, it’s fun! 
  

Have FUN learning together!!!

Writing

Next week, we will begin "Work on Writing."  Students will begin independence in writing.  They are writing in their own journals.  We will work on building stamina during writing each day.   I have taught them that there are 4 different ways of writing that they might be using:

• Marks on the paper that seem to be scribbles.  We do NOT call it scribbling, we call it, "writing."  This is the earliest form of writing.  Remember when your child was learning to talk?  If your child said, "Dada," you didn't correct your child and say, "No, it's Daddy."  You were thrilled that he/she was learning to speak!  Remember how you felt?  We need to applaud writing in that manner, also!  Give your child time to learn how to use the letters and grammar of English.
• Random Letters-These students know that letters on a page mean something.  They're still working on figuring out why certain letters are used.
• Phonemic Spelling-Children write down the sounds they hear.  They don't usually hear all the sounds in the words during kindergarten, by the way.  Vowel sounds and digraphs (th) are the most difficult.  They might write "I wt tu v zu." for "I went to the zoo."
• Conventional Writing-  "I went to the zoo."  This stage is our goal.  Writing like this takes time and a lot of practice.  Most students start writing like this more towards second grade.

At this time, we want students to know writing is fun!  We want them to take risks!  We want them to try to write down what they want to say.  We don't want to limit them to only the words they can spell!  That would be boring writing (ie.  I like mom.  I like dad...)  We want them to use their imaginations and use invented spelling (ie.  "The huge dog was scary! instead of "The dog is big.")

Demonstrate writing at home.  Do it together!  Make lists for the store  Make a card for grandparents.  Show how you write an address on an envelope when you mail a bill, etc...

Have fun writing!  :)

Off to a Great Start!

We're off to a great start this year! The students are quick learners!

We've started an overview of the alphabet. We have learned about Aa through Hh. We are working on story comprehension when listening to a story read aloud. We are learning all kinds of new songs and poems. In math, we are working on counting to 5, making AB patterns (ie. rectangle, circle, rectangle, circle...), using a calendar, using a schedule, identifying numbers to 5, recording the weather daily, and introducing shapes. In science, we are learning about types of weather. In Social Studies, we are learning about rules.

We have also been going to discovery centers each day. There are many choices: Legos, blocks, home living, reading, science, art, writing, puppets, dress-up. We're learning how to take turns and to share.

When we go to lunch, we have to line up in alphabetical order. That is something we have to practice quite a bit. Students have to be able to tell their first and last name in the lunch line so their lunch account can be accessed.

We've been learning how to write our names (if they didn't already know how). We're working on recognizing our names on center cards, name tags, and on our tables.

We do all this and more in kindergarten! By Friday, I could tell my Dinosaurs were tired! I hope you all have a restful weekend. Continue making sure your child is getting at least 10-12 hours of sleep every night so he or she is ready for a big school day the next day. Going to school all day is a big change for these five year olds.

Each one is precious and brings unique talents and gifts to our class. I'm so thrilled to have them! Together, it makes our class wonderful!

See you on Monday!
Miss Kirsten :)